


Past Midnight

by HayamaRei



Series: Portals [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Set couple of weeks after they got back, Understanding Alec, because that's something I don't see too often
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-18 08:13:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8155270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HayamaRei/pseuds/HayamaRei
Summary: What happened in the alternative reality is still haunting Magnus.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I felt like I shouldn't just leave the events in Magnus' chapter the way they were so here's the consequences.
> 
> This is part two of the Portals series. If you haven't read that, this fic will make little to no sense so if you haven't I suggest you go read On The Other Side first.

Alec's phone buzzing on his nightstand pulled him out of his sleep. He squinted his eyes at the too bright light, blinking a few times before he managed to see the caller id. It was Magnus. He picked up. 

"Hello?" His voice was heavy and hoarse with sleep. 

"I'm sorry I woke you up." Magnus said instead of a greeting. He spoke quietly, his voice coming out small. "I needed to hear your voice." 

Alec lay back down on his pillow, staring at the night lights illuminating the ceiling through the window. "It's okay." He bit his lip. "Is something wrong?" 

Magnus didn't reply for a long time and Alec almost thought he had hung up. "I need to see you." He finally said. 

"Now?" Alec asked, glancing at the clock on his side. It was nearing half past three. 

"Is it a problem?"

Alec considered it for a moment. "No. Should I come by?" 

"No. Let's meet outside. I could use some fresh air." 

\----

When Alec arrived to the spot by East River they'd decided to meet at Magnus was already there. He was sitting on a bench, staring at the black waters that reflected the streetlights, leaving golden flakes along the surface. He looked strangely stiff, something that was rare given how Magnus always seemed to be completely in his element in any situation where there was no direct threat towards him. 

"Hey," Alec greeted once he was close enough. 

Magnus flinched as if caught off guard or being pulled out of deep thought. He was quick to smile when he looked at Alec though. "Hey." 

Alec sat down and Magnus instantly leaned against him as if seeking reassurance about something. Alec responded with the same. He'd found out, not too long ago, that Magnus had this sort of calming effect on him even when he wasn't upset. 

They sat together in silence for a few minutes, Magnus seemed deep in thought again. Then he straightened his back a bit and looked at Alec. "I've been having nightmares lately." He said quietly. 

Alec turned to look back at him. He didn't speak because Magnus didn't seem to be done talking. He was simply taking his time. 

"About you. About what happened..." He searched for the right words. "On the other side." 

Alec's chest tightened. Magnus hadn't spoken about what had happened before he'd shown up. All Alec knew was that his alternate self had died and Magnus had seen it. There had been blood covering his clothes and hands and that lost look in his eyes that had Alec feel like his heart was ripped from his chest. 

But as soon as they'd gotten back Magnus went straight to pretending it never happened. He went back to his usual self like he had blocked all the memories out from his mind. Alec hadn't asked because he'd been afraid that it would make the other man snap. 

"That wasn't me, you know it." He whispered carefully. 

"Yes, but it was. It was you in more than one ways. And I watched you slip away between my fingers without being able to do anything about it." Magnus' tone was low and calm but there was an edge of despair to it. Alec swallowed thickly. "And I keep seeing it in my dreams. You keep leaving me and I'm helpless against it."

Alec wasn't sure what to say. He couldn't promise that it wouldn't happen. His work stopped him from making promises like that. The truth was that he could die every time they ran into trouble. It was part of being a shadowhunter. 

He bit the inside of his cheek and took the other's hand in his, intertwining their fingers. "Look, Magnus... I can't say that I won't get killed. We both know it." He took a deep breath. "And the truth is that it's more than likely that you will see me go one day," Magnus' grip on his hand tightened and Alec squeezed it back. "It's something that's bound to happen, one way or another if we do stay together. Wouldn't it be better to try and focus on what we have now instead of fearing what the future holds for us?" 

Magnus' jaw tightened and his eyes glistened with tears illuminated by the streetlights. He searched Alec's eyes before looking down at their linked hands. "I've seen many people I've loved die." 

"Do you regret loving them?" 

Magnus looked back up at him and smiled faintly, sadness clinging to the corners of his lips. "No."

Alec smiled back. "Then don't torture yourself with this either." 

Magnus fell silent again. He was looking at Alec like he couldn't quite believe that he was real. A mix of wonder and amazement and such gentle fondness that made heat creep up Alec's cheeks. 

"I love you," The words came out quieter than a whisper. So low one could mistake it for a breeze of air if they didn't pay attention. 

But Alec heard it clear enough to make his heart beat faster. It was the first time someone told him that and meant it in the way Magnus did. And the feeling was the most unique in every way. Magnus had looked at him and seen him with all his flaws, seen his mistakes and still managed to find a special room in his heart for Alec. 

And Alec was falling, too. He knew by how he looked at Jace and rarely ever found his heart longing. How Magnus slipped into his everyday thoughts more and more often and how he felt happier whenever the other was around. 

He couldn't say it back. Not yet. Not before he was completely sure he meant it with every bit of his being. It wouldn't be fair to Magnus if he did because he wanted to give back just as much as he received. So instead of answering he leaned in and captured Magnus' lips in a kiss. 

Slowly he felt the tension leave the other's body as Magnus melted into the kiss. When they pulled back the sadness was gone from his boyfriend's expression, replaced with a soft glow. Alec smiled. 

"Do you wanna go and get early breakfast? I know a place that should be open." He suggested. A breakfast date sounded wonderful in that moment. 

"I would love that."

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you thought! ^-^


End file.
